the blue carpenter bee is non-aggressive & semi-solitary; they do not build hives like honeybees, but instead prefer to burrow into trees, or live inside of dead wood. Earth is home to more than 20,000 species of bees—some of which are white or ginger or purple, while others are green & still others: black—blue is just one of their many colors.
rebecca says that blue is the color of distance & i can't help but thinkof my veins, in this—how i once read that it takes forty-five seconds
(on average) for the blood to circulate the body; forty-five seconds from
start to finish, forty-five seconds from the heart & back again & how i've
learned that it takes even less time than this to name & rename closeness,
which is just another way to measure distance, which is just another way
of saying: we never stood too near the speakers, or turned our backs on
the punks & the metalheads & yet, how we bent our bodies all the same:
in architecture, in almost-prayer, in how we carved such kindness from
each other's ribs & never spoke of how our mothers hated this, or how
they called it violence against a different kind of god; how they taught
us to name our survival after that which doesn't stay—which is not a
metaphor for anything at all—but how she puts her hand on my wrist,
lightly, like a hummingbird to trumpet vine, & asks, like nectar rising:
if i've been waiting long. & beyond the window the sky still looks so
blue. & i say: no, no. don't worry, i've only just arrived. & i think:
what a beautiful lie, that is.